Disclaimer: Don't own them, but with the new anti-trust suit pending I might just get Tracy ;-) Permission to archive granted to Mel and the DP, others please ask first. Summary: Tracy thinks about a path she didn't get to take Would Have Been (1/1) By: Cousin Mary (Jenkins) There was already a hint of winter in the air as Tracy awkwardly made her way across the wind swept cemetery grounds. Just two weeks ago most of the precinct had been here for the services. Her new partner hadn't made it due to his sun allergy, but she'd come, standing in the back and doing her duty. Don Schanke, her predecessor, had been well liked and she'd gotten more than a few hostile glares from her new co-workers, especially from the ME. Tracy snorted, like it'd been her fault? They seemed to forget that she'd already been assigned to the 96th before anything had happened. Sure Knight wouldn't have been her partner but... She sighed and made her way through the neat rows of grave markers. She still felt a bit like an intruder, but shrugged it off. Maybe she had no real right to be here, but she'd feel worse if she didn't do this. Squaring her shoulders, Tracy made her way past the rusty wrought iron gate and into the Jewish section. She wandered around lost for a while, but at last found the one she was looking for and crouched down next to the fresh grave, "Hi Captain, thought I'd pay my respects... now that the crowds are gone and all." She looked up at the cloud dotted sky for a minute, trying to think of what to say. She wasn't sure exactly why she'd come; it's not like they'd been very close. Hell, they'd hardly known one another, but it seemed like the right thing to do. "Here, I brought you these." Tracy propped the small bouquet of violets against the granite headstone. "Heard they were your favourite." She sighed, running a hand through her hair, "Well Amanda, it would have been great working under you. They wouldn't tell me before... well, before the crash, but I heard you actually requested me. And I wanted to let you know how much it means to me that you actually wanted me, despite the hassle having a commissioner's daughter on the payroll." Tracy smiled sadly, "Hey, you remember when I was interning in college? I was at the 12th when you were a detective under McRath. Probably where you remembered me from, eh? God Amanda, you were my hero, you know that? I just wanted to be you, plain and simple." A cold gust of wind blew, knocking the last lingering leaves off the trees. "Guess we'll never know if... if you would have liked my work. You told me once I had the potential to be a great detective and you know what? When I got my promotion that was the first thing I thought of. Not my dad, not Uncle Sonny, nope, Detective Amanda Cohen telling me I had 'potential.'" Tracy gave a small laugh. "Of course by then you were a Captain and when I found out I was going to be in your precinct I-" Tracy choked, her throat suddenly feeling tight and hot, "God this is stupid, I hardly knew you and here I am blubbering like a baby!" She stood up and looked down at the grave. "I guess all I want to say is... I would have been an honour Captain. Thank you." >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Comments to anteros@juno.com