Kay, I just gotta get it out of my system.
Teaser: Tracy and Screed wake up in Vegas... married!
Disclaimers: I don't own, FK, Kailua or Vegas... I think the Mafia does
Permission to archive granted to Mel, the DP and the Mob, all others
please ask first
Thanks to Ren Miller for betaing this, even if she had to picture Yul
Brenner to do it ;-)

Viva Las Vegas! (1/6)
By: Cousin Mary (Jenkins)

        "Ugh...my head," Tracy groaned and rose up on her elbows as quickly as
her swimming head would allow.  She was in bed, correction, she was in
-a- bed, not her bed.  Lying on her stomach, still not sure she could
manage turning over, she looked around as much as she could without
actually moving.  There was a headboard in front of her, a candy pink
one.  It was padded, and shaped like a heart.  Looking down she saw a
matching pillow right under her face, there was a small damp patch where
she'd apparently drooled in her sleep.  "Oh, that's lovely."

        To her right was a white and pink marble night stand, it was scattered
with many, many tiny airline sized bottles of kailua and cream, all
empty.  Well, that explained the dull throb in her head.  Then she
remembered, this was the first day of her week long vacation.   Rubbing
her eyes, she vaguely recalled over-hearing her partner and captain
joking that she'd probably use her time off to reorganize her closets...
And vowing to prove them wrong by doing something reckless and exciting,
something completely out of character... no matter how much her closets
needed to be reorganized.

        "Though getting drunk and waking up in a strange bed is not exactly my
idea of a good time," Tracy mumbled wryly.  Oh well, at least the room
had nearly stopped spinning.  "That's it Vetter, look on the bright
side."

        Continuing her perusal of the room, Tracy oh so carefully turned her
head to look left.  The rose colored bedspread was pulled up and there
was a rather large bump beneath it.  "Oh God."  She moaned quietly.  She
hadn't.  Had she?  Hoping it would just be a pillow, but not exactly
expecting to be that lucky, Tracy reached over and slowly peeled back the
covers to reveal... feet.

        Tracy blinked in surprise.  They were rather nice feet, well formed,
definitely male.  She'd never actually seen attractive feet on a man
before, but these were kind of... sexy.  She blanched,  "What the hell am
I thinking? "

        Flipping over, her head be damned, Tracy sat up and was ecstatic to find
herself fully dressed.  She reached down to the middle of the covers and
yanked them up.  Next to her own socked feet was his head, him being...
"Screed?!"

        Her horrified yelp was more than enough to wake the sleeping sailor.
Sitting up suddenly with a "Oo? Wha'? Whare?"  Screed came bolt upright
and nearly nose to nose with Tracy, they both screamed.

        "Ack!"

        "Wot tha-?"

        Each scrambled off different sides of what turned out to be an
absolutely huge raised king-sized bed and just stared at each other.
Slowly bits and pieces of the last few hours trickled into their
consciousness.

        Tracy coming by the church looking for Vachon...

        Finding Screed instead...

        Learning he was just on his way to catch a flight to Vegas...

        Inviting herself along...

        All those little complimentary drinks on the flight...

        After that it got a bit blurry.

        "Uh, we didn't..." Tracy began, looking over at Screed, who was wearing
only a pair of blue cotton boxers, "Please say we didn't..."

        "I don' see any nibbly marks un yer swan-li' neck," Screed pointed out
distractedly as he wrapped himself in one of the ridiculously pink silk
sheets, "So I don't think we- uh, did tha deed."

        "Thank God!" Tracy closed her eyes and gave a quick thanks to whatever
deity looked after drunk homicide detectives.  When she opened them, she
turned quickly away from Screed, who was looking awkward and terribly
embarrassed, and looked around the hotel room... correction, gigantic
hotel suite.  "Wow, look at this place!"

        Screed obediently looked around, "All pink 'en red, ghastly really."

        "How on Earth are we gonna afford this?"  Tracy breathed as she took in
the huge bedroom, the adjoining sitting room, and huge red and white
tiled bathroom with a nearly Olympic sized heart-shaped tub.  She walked
over to the large arching windows and, after a peek to make sure it was
indeed dark out, pulled back the heavy velvet to reveal a spectacular
neon view of the Vegas strip.   "Whoa, I've never stayed in a penthouse
before."

        Screed finished tugging the sheet around himself toga style, and looked
around for his clothes.  He didn't see them anywhere.  Actually, he
didn't see his bag, or any that might belong to Tracy either for that
matter.  Sighing, he glanced over at the bird he'd just woken up with,
she had her nose pressed to the glass like a kid at the window of a candy
store.  Well, at least she'd probably be good company... if he could
convince her to go out and find him some duds.  "'Ave ya ev'r been ta
Vegas before, Baby Jane?"

        "No," Tracy shook her head, not taking her eyes away from the view.
"Though I've seen it on TV before, but it never seemed so -bright-."

        "Aye, that it is."  Screed chuckled, "Like Disneylan' wit' slots."

        "Oh God, my friends are never going to believe I ran off to Vegas for a
week." Tracy found herself grinning from ear to ear.  She turned to
Screed, who found it impossible not to return her smile.

        Screed chuckled, then something caught his attention, "'Eyo, wots this?"


        "What is it?"  Tracy raised a brow, watching him pick up a sheet of
paper from the colossal white dresser with its double heart shaped
mirrors.

        He didn't answer, just waved a hand in her general direction to quiet
her and let him read.

        She watched his lips moving and, if it were possible, she'd swear he
went a shade paler.  Frowning, she pried herself away from the fantastic
view and came to stand next to him.  "What is it?"  She asked cautiously.
"Something bad?"

        He didn't say a word, just handed her the sheet of thick cream colored
paper.  Tracy accepted it, but didn't take her eyes off the obviously
shaken Screed.  His dark green eyes bore intensely into hers, "Jus' go on
en reads it."  He ordered in a whisper.

        Tracy nodded and looked down.  What could be so bad?  Then she saw it,
in bold, black calligraphy across the top, 'Certificate of Marriage,' her
eyes skimmed down, there was her name filled in as the bride, Tracy Anne
Vetter.  She skimmed some more, "Simon Creed?"  She frowned, then her
eyes shot up to meet Screed's, he nodded, that was his real name.

        "Lookin' like we 'ad more than enough cockytails on tha plane," He told
her in a slow even voice.  He wiped a hand down his face, trying to
figure out what to do next.  He looked up at her again, "Yer nah gonna
start cryin' er sumpthin', are ya?"

        "No, I-" Tracy started to say something, then shook her head and
stopped.  She felt shocked and totally disorientated, like someone had
just popped a balloon three inches from her face.  But Tracy was nothing
if not a quick thinker, you had to be able to roll with the punches and
deal with surprises if you wanted to survive as a cop.  She forced
herself to take a deep breath and think things through rationally.
They'd gotten a quickie marriage at, she paused to check the certificate,
the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel.  Married.  She shook her head to clear
it as the wave of shock threatened to roll in again. "Well, the solution
is simple."  She said finally.

        "Oh it is?  Welly that's good ta know." Screed cracked sarcastically. He
was still pretty much floored by the fact that he was married.  Him, the
eternal bachelor, hitched.  "Wots ya gone en figured out wit' that
anny-lintical mind o' yers?"  He asked, not really excepting much.

        "We'll just get it annulled."

        It took a second, but then his face split into a wide grin.  "O'
course!"  Why hadn't he thought of that?!  "We'll jus' go out an' get tha
words all unsaid!"

        "Hey!  You're acting like you don't -want- to be married to me!" Tracy
said in mock offense.  She felt giddy with euphoria.  This wasn't
permanent, she was saved!

        "Aw, ya knows I luvs ya baby!" Screed grinned at her and they both began
laughing in relief.

        Suddenly Tracy stopped, "Wait a second..."

        Screed paused, he didn't like her tone one bit.  He could almost see the
wheels turning.  "Wot?"

        "You know why I came to Vegas?"  She asked thoughtfully.

        "'Cause yas were drunk?"

        "No, that's why I got married," She shot him a grin, "Why I came to
Vegas was to prove to myself, not to mention the people I work with, that
I can be just as wild and crazy as them."

        "Yeah, so?"  He had no idea where this was going, but he had an odd
feeling in his stomach that it was going to be interesting.

        "Well..." Tracy drew out the word slowly, peering at Screed through her
bangs in a speculative manner.  "What's more wild and crazy then going to
Vegas and getting married?"

        Screed just looked at her, not having a clue as to what she was going on
about.  "Ya wants to -stay- hitched?!"

        "No!"  She said quickly, then hedged, "Well, just for the week.  Then we
can get it annulled before we go back."

        Mouth gaping, he just stared at her.

        "Come on, we're here, in -Vegas-!"  She waved her arm towards the neon
view, "And it's only for a week.  Might as well have my wild and crazy
vacation I can shock everyone back home with, right?"

        Long moments passed, as he tried to digest what he'd just heard.  He
looked the blonde bird before him, she was practically bouncing with
excitement about being here in this city.  And she didn't actually want
to -be- hubby and wifey, she just wanted to have the tale to tell her
grandbabies someday.  And maybe they could have some laughs, it'd been a
long while since he'd had any company on his jaunts to Vegas.   "Okee
dokee baby, if ya wants ta stay married fer tha week... we cans."  He
nodded reluctantly.

        "Great!" Tracy laughed evilly as thoughts of Nick and Reese's faces on
hearing this story danced in her mind.  Then something occurred to her
and her head snapped up, "Screed, we aren't going to-  I mean, that is to
say, we won't-"  She blushed bright red.

        "Wot!  Ya means ya won't be preformin' yer wifely duties?!"  He gave a
shocked gasp, then smiled, "Don't fret none Baby Jane, I figgered ya
didn't mean it tha' way."

        "Okay, good."  She giggled in nervous relief, then grinned, "This week
is going to be -so- neat though!"

"Righto it is!"  He smirked, if the bird wanted to let her hair down,
more power to her. "Now, uh..." He looked around again, "'Ave ya by
chance... set yer peepers on me togs anywheres in 'ere?"

        It took a second for her to translate past his accent, but the fact that
Screed looked like he'd be blushing if he could clued her in on the fact
that his clothes were missing.  And now that she thought about it, she
looked around, she didn't remember bringing her normal all-purpose duffel
bag either.  Some vague idea of 'living for the moment' and just going
for it.  "Well," Tracy shrugged, "I'll just have to go buy you
something."

        "Tha's tha ticket!"  He looked so relieved she almost laughed.

        "Um," She looked around herself, "I don't see my purse..." She grimaced
as she vaguely remembered tossing it next to Vachon's couch, she didn't,
however, remember picking it back up.  She quickly patted her pockets,
she felt something. "Hold on."

        Screed watched as she pulled two slips of folded paper and three
laminated plastic cards out one of her beige slacks pockets.  "Wotta ya
find?"

        "I guess we packed really light, I think this is all we have."  Tracy
said uneasily, not used to being without her trusty purse.  She bit her
lip and unfolded the slips of paper first, "Receipts; for the room and
the, uh, ceremony."  She blushed and set them on the dresser.  She next
turned her attention to the plastic.  "My driver's license." She flipped
on to the next, "Your ID card," She paused and looked up, "That's a
-really- awful picture."

        "Gimme that!" He snatched it away from her, then remembered his sheet
had no pockets, and just set it on the dresser. "En tha las' one?"

        "And-" Tracy's eyes widened, then she quickly checked the numbers on the
receipts.  "Oh geez."

        He frowned, realizing the last card was a Master Visa Express.  Well, it
made sense, they'd had to have paid for the room somehow. "Wots tha
problemo, baby?"

        She began laughing and handed him the credit card.

        He frowned, confused as to why the hell she was laughing, then his eyes
fell on the name.  "Javier D. Vachon, member since 1986."  He snorted
back a laugh and looked up at Tracy, tears were coursing down her cheeks
as her shoulders shook with silent laughter.  "Vachonetti is gonna kill
us, ya do realize tha'?"

        She nodded, still laughing too hard to answer.

        "'Ow'd we get a 'old o' this anyways?"  He asked rhetorically as he
looked down at the well-worn gold plastic card.  Funny, he wouldn't have
guessed the V-man had a gold card.

        "It fell out of his pocket when he was at my place once," Tracy
struggled to tell him through her cascading giggles, "I was going to
return it..."

        "'Tis 'is own fault," Screed winked, "'E should learn ta keep better
track o' wots 'is."  As soon as he said that, he regretted it.  Their
easy camaraderie fell away in a second and a stilted silence descended.

        "I'm not Vachon's," Tracy said quietly after a moment.

        "I knows ya aren't." He nodded slowly.

        "I'm yours," She grinned saucily, trying to recapture their easy banter.
"Besides, he's probably tucked away in some seedy motel room with Urs
right now."  She rolled her eyes and made a face that just said 'Men!'

        "While we," Screed paused dramatically, sweeping his arms wide to
encompass their suite, "Are in a completely non-seedlike 'oneymoon suite
o' a posh 'otel."

        "Which is totally different!" Tracy grinned and nodded, "Plus, we're
legal!"  She pointed at the certificate.

        "'Ell yeah we are!" Screed chuckled and shared her easy smile.

        "Um, well, I guess I'll go get you some clothes..." She trailed off,
looking around for her shoes.  She didn't see them.  She got down on her
hands and knees and looked under the bed.

        "'Ey now, wotter ya doin'?"

        "I can't find my shoes!"  Came her muffled reply as she slipped head
first under the huge bed.  "I can't go down to the lobby in just my
socks!"

        "Yer gonna hafta!"  Screed told her, taking a moment to admire her
posterior as it waved in the air.  "I'm sure as 'ell not goin' down in a
sheet!"

        "Wuss!" She called out with a laugh as she dug around.  "Ow!"  She
jerked up, bumping her head on the boxsprings when he swatted her rear.

        "I ain't no wuss!"  He laughed, watching her slide completely under the
bed to escape.  "Finds 'em?"

        "No," Came her defeated answer.  "Where the heck could I have put them?"

        "Probably tha same place as me clothes," Screed grimaced.  Why'd -he-
have to be the one to wake up without a stitch?  Why not her?  He waited
a minute, but when she didn't come out he crouched down and raised the
edge of the blankets to peer at her.  "So ya comin' out or wot?"

        "I suppose I'd better," She sighed,  "Even without my shoes."

        "I'm sure no one'll notice," He promised, reaching in and hauling her
out.  They climbed to their feet and he shoved her towards the door.
"Now go en gets me some clothes, wife!"  He ordered with a smile.

        Tracy raised a brow but none-the-less grabbed the credit card.  "While
I'm out I'll get some shoes too," She glanced back at Screed as she
opened the door to leave, he looked a bit lost, like he didn't have a
clue what to do while he waited for her.  She smiled evilly, "I'll be
back... sooner or later."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Comments and vampire's credit cards to anteros@juno.com

*Disclaimers in part one

Viva Las Vegas! (2/6)
By: Cousin Mary (Jenkins)

        Tracy let herself back into the honeymoon suite some two and a
half-hours later.  And even as loaded down with bags and packages as she
was, she couldn't help but stop and stare at the sight that greeted her.
Screed was sprawled on his stomach across the bed.  He'd obviously just
taken a shower, because his head was wrapped in a bright pink towel,
which accented the complimentary red bathrobe he was sporting divinely.
His knees were bent, and those sexy feet of his were up in the air as he
watched the movie showing on the suite's huge television.

        Tracy shut the door behind her, tore her attention away from Screed and
turned towards the screen... My Fair Lady, in living Technicolor.  "Oh!
I -love- this movie!"  She grinned, dumping her load and practically
hopping onto the bed next to him to watch.

        The carouche started and almost rolled off the bed in surprise.  He
reached up, but the towel still slipped off his head, "Gawd Baby Janey!
Where did ya come from?"

        She kept her eyes on the screen, but a small smile tilted up the corners
of her mouth, "Toronto, same as you.  I think we sat together on the
plane."

        He blinked at her, just staring at her profile, "Har de 'ar 'ar," He
griped, settling back down, "Think yer a regular Lucille Ball now don't
ya?"

        "But Rickyyy," She whined quietly under her breath before hushing him
when her favorite scene, the races, came on.

        They watched the classic in compatible silence for a few minutes, but it
was becoming rather obvious that silence, compatible or not, wasn't
something either of them were very good at.  Tracy felt his weight shift
as he craned his neck to look at all the packages still lying by the
door.  "So'd ya gets me my togs?"

        "Yep," She swung her legs, "Got shoes too."

        "So's I see," He smiled, taking in her whole new outfit: sandals, tight
jeans and a tie-dyed Grateful Dead tee shirt, "And ya didn't stop theres
did ya?"

        Tracy rolled over onto her back, and it struck her that she was maybe
just a tad too comfortable with Screed when she looked up to see his face
mere inches from hers.  She swallowed, but then quipped, "What?  I can't
buy myself anything?  Only you?"

        He froze, staring down at her.  Finally a yell from good ol' 'Enry
'Iggins, ('Eliza, get me my slippers!') broke the silence. "Yer jus'
weird Baby Janey," He mumbled, shaking his head as he got off the bed to
go look through the shopping bags. "An' that's tha truth."

        "Yeah, like you blend!" Tracy quoted as she switched channels to 'My
Cousin Vinny.'

        Screed's head shot up, he looked from her to the screen, "'Eyo,'ow'd ya
do that?!"  He demanded.

        "Wouldn't you like to know?"  She took a moment to smirk, then waved the
remote control she'd snatched from the night stand, "Scared ya, didn't
I?"

        "Ya've always scared me, Baby Cakes," He winked, before returning to
rooting through the bags.  "Didn't ya gets anythin' wearable?!"

        "I got plenty!"  Tracy declared defensively, hopping off the bed to join
him.

        "Plenty, yeah roight."  Screed gave her a disbelieving look and held up
one of her purchases, "These are made o' rubber."

        "They're vinyl!"  She snatched them away, "Besides, those are for me."

        He opened his mouth to comment, but wisely shut it again.  He started
digging though the bags again, finally he came up with a dark red tee
shirt that read 'homicidal maniac.'  "This is fer me?"

        Tracy looked up from her own bag and snickered, "I couldn't resist."

        Screed rolled his eyes, then proceeded to open up his robe and slip the
shirt on.

        "Screed!!"  Tracy yelped and averted her eyes, "You can't just strip
right here!"

        "Yer a prude, ya know that Baby Cakes?"  He chuckled.

        Her eyes snapped back, taking in the fact that the robe was still tied
securely at his waist.  She then remembered the pink toga he'd sported
earlier, "And you're Mr. Exhibitionist, huh?"  She snapped sarcastically.

        "Welly..." He began untying his robe.

        "Screed!  Okay, okay, you win.  Geez," She turned away, exasperated.
Sitting cross-legged with her back to him, she reached around and grabbed
another bag to dig through.  "Just find some pants, okay?"

        The vampire grinned and took off the robe, tossing it over her head.
Tracy took it off, but didn't turn around.  Sure he'd covered up already
with the pair of green cotton boxers he'd found in one of the bags, but
she didn't know that.  He chuckled, she sure was fun to play with.  When
he was certain she wasn't going to peek, he stood up and pulled on a pair
of black jeans.  He was just doing up the fly when she tilted back her
head and looked at him, "Did I get the right size?"

        He nearly caught himself in the zipper, "Um, yeah, righto." He squeaked,
turning his back to finish zipping.  He could hear her giggling and
rolled his eyes.  Okay, so maybe it was -him- who was fun to play with.

        "So what are we going to do on our first night in Vegas?"  Tracy asked
as she pulled out her new purse, she didn't care if there wasn't anything
in it yet, she needed a purse.

        "First thin's first," Screed walked around and pulled her to her feet,
"We go en gets me auto."

        "You have a car?"  She looked at down at him as he bent to lace up the
boots she'd bought him.  It was a testament to the fact that she'd spent
-way- too long looking at his feet that they actually fit.

        "Yeppers, a '59 Cadillac covetible," He stood back up and pulled her
towards the door, excited to have someone to show it off to, "I 'ave it
kept in mint down 'ere's, only drives it when I comes ta Vegy."

        "Wait," Tracy dug her heels into the plush pink carpet, "A Caddy?  Like
my partner's?!"

        "No!"  Screed looked offended that she'd dare draw such a comparison,
"Yer partless tools roun' in a '62, not a '59.  Besides... mine is pink."

        "Oh," Tracy blinked, "Well, then... that's totally different isn't it?"

        "Yes it is," He said slowly as if talking to a small child... or a woman
who knew nothing about classic cars.

        "It's still a gas guzzling road hog isn't it?"  She asked with
wide-eyed, and totally fake, innocence.

        "Philistine!" He growled good naturedly and led her out of the suite,
"Come on, a ride'll change that waspish mind o' yers."

        "Hey!"

        Screed led her into the elevator, pressed the button and was just about
to comment on her oh-so-witty retort, when the doors swept open to reveal
a bellhop struggling behind an overloaded luggage cart.  "Oh, hello Mr.
and Mrs. Creed, is the suite satisfactory?"

        Screed and Tracy just stared at him, before glancing at each other.
Tracy turned bright red and looked away while Screed nodded slowly,
turning back to the bellhop, "Yeah, everythin' is jus' roight peachy."

        "Good, good.  Well, this is my stop."  He nodded towards the doors,
which Screed and Tracy were blocking.  They moved and he rolled on out,
"Enjoy your stay in Las Vegas."

        "That we will," Screed tipped an imaginary hat and led the shell-shocked
Tracy into the elevator.  He pressed the button for the lobby and they
watched in silence as the numbers descended from the top floor.  20, 19,
18, somewhere in the lower teens he turned to her, "Jus' kinda sunk in
huh?"

        Tracy started at the sound of his voice, almost as if she'd forgotten he
was next to her. "Yeah, well, I was fine up to the 'Mrs.' part," She
turned and gave him a small smile,  "Didn't think I'd be hearing that
anytime soon, if ever."

        "Really?"  He gave her a curious look, "I woulda thought a perty bird
like you'd 'ave 'em comin' outta tha woodwork.  Rings a wavin', fallin'
over each utter ta gets to their knees before ya."  He watched her
melancholy expression fade as she began to giggle.  It was a wonderful
sight,  "Ya'd open yer door in tha mornin' an' there'd be anoth-"

        "Oh yeah, they're all just dying to date someone who works nights, never
gets anytime off and looks at bloody footprints for a living." She rolled
her eyes.

        "So ya work nights, better fer rompin' durin' lunch breakys."  Screed
looked up at the elevator's mirrored ceiling, she looked up too and their
eyes met, "An', could be worse.  Ya could work at novelty factory, come
'ome all 'ours covered in rubber vomit an' bits of plastic corn..."

        "Ewww."

        "Besides, yer so drop dead gorgeous any man wit' 'alf a brain should be
able ta overlook a few bloody footprints," He cut her off before she
could nay say him again, "All gold and pink, like a china baby doll...
wit' a gun en badge."

        "Okay," Tracy bumped his hip with hers as he continued to wax poetic
about her many charms.  "That's enough."  She insisted with a smile.

        "Ya sure?"  He asked, leaning back against the railing, "'Cause I gots
more."

        She giggled, "Thank you."

        "No problemo, Baby Cakes," He winked as the elevator chimed.

        "Tracy," She corrected as they stepped out into the colossal marble
lobby.  "I don't even know how this 'Baby Jane', 'Baby Cakes' thing
started, but I think we should stop before you get to something worse."

        "Okee Doke, I'll stop." He said stiffly, following behind her to the
brass and glass doors, "Didn't realize it bothered ya none."

        "It doesn't really," She assured him, coming to a halt right before the
doors and turning to face him.  "It's just..." She ran a hand through her
hair in an annoyed gesture, "You know I've never even heard you say my
name?"

        "Never?"  He asked, amused.

        "No," She shook her head, "Do you even know it?"

        "Sure I do," He smiled down at her, "Ya jus' told me when we came outta
tha lift."

        "Well?"

        "Well wot?"

        "Never mind," She growled, swinging around and walking out of the hotel.
 Screed followed a few feet behind, matching her angry stride but making
no move to actually catch her.  She'd gone a good block and a half before
it occurred to her that she had no idea where she was going.  She stopped
cold.

        "Wots tha matter?"  Screed asked idly as he came up next to her.

        "Where are we going?"  She asked through gritted teeth.

        "Ya means ya don't know?"  He asked as if shocked, but at her murderous
look pointed, "Yer actually headed tha roight way, tha garage is a couple
mo' blocks this way, Baby Cakes."

        She closed her eyes and counted to ten.

        "Sumpthin' wrong?"  He asked innocently.

        "No," She squared her shoulders and started back down the block, "Let's
go."

        "All righty then Bab-" He got it half out before she swung around and
backhanded him right across his surprisingly toned stomach.  "Oof!"

        "Oh, come on," Tracy watched him double over, "I didn't hit you that
hard!"

        "Spousal abuse!" He faked a weak cough and fell to his knees.

        "Screed," She hissed, "Get up!  People are starting to look!"

        "Oh fer shame!"  Screed laid down on his back and groaned, "An' on our
'oneymoon too!"

        "Screed!"  She laughed, pulling at his arm.  "Come on!  Are you going to
show me your car or what?"

        "I dunno if I can make it," He kicked his legs in the air a few times,
like a dying cartoon character, "Eternal damage, Baby Cakes."

        "Internal," She corrected, then whispered in his ear, "Eternal is what
you are, so I -know- you aren't hurt..." She stood back up, looking
around at the crowd that was gathering. Suddenly she chuckled evilly to
herself. "And it's not like you didn't deserve it!"  She threw her arm
over her eyes in a dramatic gesture, "Newly married and you won't even
call me by my real name! Only 'Baby Cakes!'"

        A few women in the crowd chuckled and nodded.  They knew the stigma of
pet names all too well.

        "Aw Baby," Screed rose up on his elbows, but didn't actually get up.
"Ya know 'ow I feels about ya!"

        "Then why oh why won't you call me by my first name?" She swept a step
to the side, making sure that their audience was on her side, "It's so
you don't call me another woman's name, isn't it?  You're scared you will
so you call us all 'Baby Cakes!'"

        A few theatrical shocked gasps, but mostly snickers and giggles rolled
through the crowd.

        "Baby!"  Screed got up and went to her side, where she was doing her
best to milk the crowd for every ounce of sympathy she could get.  "There
isn't anyone else, yer it fer me!"

        But the crowd wasn't buying it, they were siding with the pretty blonde.
 Boos and hisses, went to Screed, plus a few offers tossed Tracy's way.
She smiled at the crowd, then swept around to look down her nose at
Screed.  "Well then?"

        He looked around, there was no way out of it.  With a dramatic sigh, he
slipped to one knee before her, "Okay, I knows when I'm out matched, an'
I am now."  She didn't even crack a smile, just arched a brow and waited.
 He smiled, "Tracy."

        She beamed at him, his breath caught and when she asked him to say it
again, he did instantly, "Tracy Anne... Creed."

        "Vetter-Creed," She corrected, hauling him to his feet and giving him a
quick peck on the cheek, "With a hyphen."

        The crowd applauded and Screed watched dumbly as Tracy took a bow.  Then
suddenly they were on their way to the garage again.

        "Something wrong?"  She asked with a small frown when he didn't say
anything for nearly a block.

        "Nah, everythin's perfecto," He looked at her, "Tracy."

        A small smile curved her mouth, "I don't think I've ever liked the sound
of my own name more than when you say it."

        "I-"

        "Harder the battle, sweeter the reward," She continued walking, "That's
what my Uncle Sonny always says."

        "Smart man."  He nodded, falling into perfect sync beside her.

        "Yeah.  You'd like him I bet, and I know he'd get a kick out of you,"
She smiled fondly, "When we get back to Toronto maybe I'll introduce
you."

        "Ya want me to meets yer family, huh?" He chuckled, "This -is- gettin'
serious now."

        "Well, Uncle Sonny at least," Her eyes lit up, "Is this it?"

        "Wot?"  He frowned, then realized they'd come to the garage, a huge sign
proclaimed 'Lock, Stock and Barrel: air conditioned, climate controlled
storage.'  "Yeah, this be tha place alrighty."

        "Okay!"  Tracy rubbed her hands together, "Lets see if this Caddy out
does Nick's!"

        He laughed, "Oh it does Ba... Tracy," He corrected at her sharp look.
"It blows Defective Nicky's outta the water!"

        She laughed, then stopped short, "Hey... you never called -me-
Defective, did you?"  She asked suspiciously.

        "Nah," He looked down at her as he reached past to push the door open,
"You were always my baby."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Comments and emmys to anteros@juno.com

*Disclaimers in part one

Viva Las Vegas! (3/6)
By: Cousin Mary (Jenkins)


        Twenty minutes later they were cruising the strip in Screed's mint
condition powder pink, black and white zebra patterned interior Cadillac
convertible.  The top was down and the 225 inch long two door coupe with
it's great big fuzzy dice hanging from the rear-view mirror reminded
Tracy that nothing in Vegas was -ever- subtle. "It certainly makes a
statement." She said with all honesty.

        Screed turned to her and grinned, "An' would tha' statemint be that
sumone 'as too much moola an' free time on 'is 'ands?"

        "Um, I didn't say that." Tracy blushed, "I like it."

        "Do ya? So do I."  He smiled and turned his eyes back to the slow moving
traffic, even at 4 AM the Vegas Strip was always congested.  "Me one an'
only indullygents."

        Tracy turned in her seat and looked at him, realizing for the first time
how unmaterialistic and open Screed was.  Unlike most of the guys she
met, who's only goals in life seemed to be to get ahead and acquire more
stuff, Screed was just happy to be alive.  Tracy cocked her head,
watching him expertly swing the huge car through a tight turn and
considered what she was learning.  Screed was, after all, immortal, and
if this car showed nothing else, it showed that if he wanted to, he could
be living pretty damn well just by selling things from his past.  But he
didn't.  Why?  Because things like that just didn't matter to him. "So
why'd you buy it?"  Tracy couldn't help but ask, "Did it just catch your
eye and you had to get it?"

        "I dinna buy it ac-tully," He glanced her way, "T'was a gift."

        "A gift?"  Tracy repeated in surprise, "Who on Earth gives Cadillacs as
gifts?"  She asked, then her eyes went wide, "Oh God!  You don't mean..."

        He nodded, and flipped on the radio, the AM station was playing 'Blue
Suede Shoes.'  "Wasn't a big deal ta 'im back then, 'e'd give 'em out
like 'e was 'andin' out chocolates on 'alloweeny."

        Tracy just stared at him in shock, "Elvis, Elvis -Presley- gave you this
car?!"

        Screed shrugged, "Once upon a midnight dreary we were good mates," He
frowned slightly, losing himself in the past, "I jus' wish I'd been able
ta smooth thin's over wit' 'im before 'e kicked up 'is 'eels."

        "You two fought?"

        "Ya know 'ow it goes," He sighed, "An' I'm sure ya don't wanna 'ear me a
ramblin' on 'bouts tha dead an' gone past."

        "No, I want to, and besides, it obviously isn't dead and gone to you."
Tracy touched his arm lightly, "Nothing is truly gone as long as someone
remembers it."

        "More wisdom from yer Uncle Sonny?"  He watched her nod and drew a long
breath before answering. "Well, it were 'Cilla that done it."

        "Cilla?"  Tracy frowned, then nodded when she realized he meant
Priscilla Presley.  She was starting to get a hang of translating she
noticed proudly.  "You two didn't get along?"

        "Nah, I liked 'Cilla roight well," He told her, "'Ow could I not?  When
I mets 'er she was just a nice kid, sweet, ya know?"

        "So what was the problem? Why did you and.... Elvis fight?" Tracy almost
couldn't believe she was having a conversation about -the King-.

        "Well..." He drew out the word, as if trying to decide if he wanted to
dredge it up again or not.  He didn't like to speak ill of the dead, but
one look at Tracy's expectant face and he blurted it out.  "'E treated
'er jus' 'orrible like that's why!"

        Tracy sat up straight, "What do you mean?"

        "'E wuz unfaithful!"  Screed explained, "Gal in every port even af'er
tha vows!"

        Tracy blinked, "That's all?"

        Screed frowned, "Well, 'e drank like a fish too."  He added quietly,
though it was obvious that that fact hadn't meant much to the sailor.

        Tracy just looked at him.  He was actually upset that Elvis had cheated
on Priscilla!  She could feel herself grinning, "They just don't make men
like you anymore, Screed."

        "I jus' think if yer wit' someun ya shouldn't-" He glanced her way as he
stopped at a red light, "Don't ya think?"

        "Yeah, I think people should be faithful."  She nodded and smiled sadly,
her own philandering father, not to mention Vachon, flashing through her
mind.  "They just usually aren't."

        "Some are."  He told her quietly.  On the radio 'Blue Suede' ended and
the opening chords of 'I Can't Help Falling in Love With You' began to
play softly.

        In the desert sky the stars twinkled down, all around them the Vegas
neon buzzed, Tracy leaned over and switched off the radio, "So where to
now?"

        "I-" He began, then swallowed nervously.  He opened his mouth to answer
when a blaring horn and a shout of, 'It ain't getting any greener!' told
Screed the light had changed.  He pressed the gas and rolled through the
intersection.  "Uh... what do ya wanna do Baby?"

        Tracy shot him a look, but didn't correct him. Besides, she had more
important, much more awkward things to worry about.  "Well... I'm kind
of... hungry?"

        His eyes widened and then he chuckled, "Ya know, I'm a might peckish
meself, 'ardly noticed 'til ya brought it up tho."

        "So..." Tracy closed her eyes and hoped against hope that she wasn't
going to have to watch him kill anything.  Sure rodents were a hell of a
lot better than people, but it was still pretty gross.

        "I knows jus' tha place," He announced, not noticing, or at least not
commenting on her discomfort.  "Nibble o' squeak fer me, cowburgers an'
ale fer you."

        Tracy pried open her eyes and watched in disbelief as he turned into the
lot of a small but relatively nice diner called, 'Rock Around the Clock.'
 She waited for him to find a parking slot big enough for the huge Caddy,
then followed him inside.  Chrome and tile, the place looked like any
revival 50's diner you could find in almost any town.  A teenage hostess
who's name tag read 'Trixie' led them to a booth and left them with
menus.

        "Wot's wrong?"  Screed looked up at her from across the kid's menu he
was scribbling on with blue and green crayons.

        "This is a," She looked around then whispered, "A -vampire- diner?"

        He looked amused, "They 'ave food fer you too."

        "Yeah, but..." She cast a quick glance down at her menu, it had all the
usual diner-fare, but no mention of blood.  She looked around the diner
then, almost everyone had huge platters of deep friend something in front
of them, but now that she was looking she noticed there were a few paler
individuals that seemed to be drinking from frosted cola glasses
exclusively.  She shook her head, "I guess I'm just used to the Raven."

        "Everythin' ain't as dramatic as that place."  He grinned and gave her a
knowing wink, "Sometimes I think a few of 'em 'ave seen jus' a few too
many Bela Lagossi flicks."

        Tracy giggled, then smiled as a waitress came up to take their orders.
It was an older lady with a big brown bun on the top of her head and a
name tag that read 'Mabel.'  "Hi sweeties, what can I get for y'all
tonight?"

        "Hiya Mabel me dear," Screed smiled, "I'll take tha closest ya gots ta
Mickey iffen ya know wots I means."

        The waitress nodded and made a note on her pad, "And for you honey?"

        Tracy blinked in surprise, "Um, egg salad sandwich and a cherry coke?"

        "Comes with fries or coleslaw, hon."

        "Uh, fries please."  Tracy sat back and watched the waitress gather up
the menus and promised to get their orders straight out.  Once she was
gone she looked at Screed and just shook her head in disbelief, "That
was..."

        "Nah nearly as dangerous an' sexy as ye ol' Raven, huh?"  He chuckled.

        Tracy shook her head again, no it hadn't been.  A little surreal, but
almost normal.  They shared a smile and started to talk about nothing in
particular.  Toronto, her job, his past, nothing really specific, just
nice everyday friendly conversation.  Finally Mabel came out with their
food and left after being assured they didn't need anything else.

        "Well?"  Tracy asked after Screed took a sip.

        "Rabbit," He grimaced slightly, then took another sip.  "Oh well,
sometimes ya get lucky, an sometimes ya don't.  How's yers?"

        Tracy took a bite, "It's good!" She grinned in surprise, for some reason
she'd half been expecting something terrible and horrific.  Of course, it
was pretty hard to make egg salad horrific...

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Comments and evil egg salad to anteros@juno.com

*Disclaimers in part one

Viva Las Vegas! (4/6)
By: Cousin Mary (Jenkins)

	 
	Tracy stretched out in the huge bed and rolled over.  She knew she
should get up, a quick glance at her watch told her the sun should be
setting any minute, but it was her vacation and she was feeling
remarkably lazy.  She smiled to herself and fluffed the pillow before
sinking her face into it.  Sure she couldn't breath, but for the next
couple seconds she was really, really comfortable.  Finally, when the
burning in her lungs became too much, she rolled back over and stared at
the ceiling.  

	Well, she was officially awake now.  She sat up and looked across the
suite.  She could see Screed was still out cold on the sofa.  She smiled,
he'd insisted she take the bed.  She'd tried to argue, but he'd been
adamant.  She'd told him then that they'd be taking turns and she'd take
the couch the next night, but she got the impression that though he'd
made no comment, he wasn't going to let her even attempt to be noble. 
She laid back down and spread eagle in the enormous king-sized bed,
taking up as much room as she physically could and still not reaching the
sides.  Oh yeah, she could definitely get used to this.  Come tonight she
wasn't going to argue too hard about who got the couch at all.

	They'd had a great night, after dinner they'd gone to a casino and
Screed had taught her, or at least -attempted- to teach her every game of
chance ever devised by man.  Some were pretty common-sense, she got black
jack, poker wasn't too hard (though the people who played seemed too
intense for it to really be 'fun'), but it had been craps that'd thrown
her.  Tracy smiled, well, not having a clue about what was going on
hadn't stopped her from winning 400 dollars... which had almost been
enough to pay off what they'd gone on to lose at the Baccarat table. 

	They'd gotten back to the suite shortly before dawn, giggling and
tripping over the bags of clothes they'd forgotten to clean up earlier. 
They'd made an attempt to stay quiet for their neighbor's sakes, but if
occupants of rooms #119 and #121 had gotten any sleep it was probably due
more to the thick walls then anything else.  Tracy sat up again and
looked at the mess they'd left on the floor in front of the TV.  Screed
had picked up a bottle to go at the dinner, and Tracy had ordered room
service.  The remnants of Screed's snack, her chocolate shake and a big
congealing plate of nachos sat among the discarded pillows and TV
listings.  Tracy shook her head, for the life of her she couldn't
remember why they'd watched 'My Fair Lady' again.  

	"Sleep well Bab- uh, Tracy?"

	"Yeah, great."  She turned and grinned, Screed had woken up and was
trudging sleepily across the suite.  He collapsed onto the bed next to
her and buried his face in her pillow.  Tracy sat there and watched, he
lasted longer than she had.

	"Good ta 'ear it," He turned his head and told her, his eyes closed so
his lashes curled gently against his cheek.

	Tracy reached down and rubbed his shoulder, "What's the matter?  Didn't
you sleep okay?"

	"Nah, I did," He nodded, still not raising his head from the pillow or
opening his eyes.  "Jus' slow ta wake I is.  Sleep good, wakin' bad."

	Tracy giggled, "That's why God gave us coffee."  She reached for the
phone to bother room service again, then paused, "Do you drink coffee?"

	"Black."  He yawned.

	Tracy nodded and quickly ordered a pot to be brought up... and some
chocolate eclairs.  Well, she -was- on vacation, she could have pastry if
she wanted!  After hanging up the phone she bounced on the mattress a
bit, "Screed..."

	"Wot?"

	"Aren't you going to get up?"  She bounced a bit harder, jostling him.

	"Ya jus' 'ad ta be a mornin' person dinna ya?"  He growled in
resignation, sitting up very slowly, but not opening his eyes.

	"It's 6:48 PM," Tracy corrected, leaning in nose to nose with him. He
opened his eyes and she almost gasped at their color.  She'd never
noticed before, but his eyes were the exact same shade of green as a pine
forest.  "By no stretch of the imagination can this be considered
morning."  She continued in a whisper.

	"Too early."  He sighed, falling backwards back into the pillows.

	She chuckled, and got up to bounce on the bed.  "Lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy,
la- Ack!"  She yelped when he grabbed her leg and yanked her down next to
him.  

	"Too early."  He repeated, wrapping his arms around her to keep her
immobile and settling down to sleep.

	Tracy froze.  It had been a long time since she'd been held, longer
still since it had been while in a bed.  It was nice.  His arms were
strong, she felt safe and...  Tracy stiffened, she could -not- be
enjoying this!  Besides, Screed didn't even mean anything by it, he just
wanted her to shut up so he could go back to sleep!  Tracy stifled a
groan, "Let me up."  She ordered quietly.

	Suddenly his arms were gone and he sat up, "Oh gawd Baby J- Tracy, I
wuzn't even thinkin'!  I-"

	Tracy sat up and turned to him, he was completely chagrined at what he'd
done.  Well, he was certainly awake now.  She blushed, "It's all right
Screed."

	"No it's not, I shouldn't a-"  

	There was a quick double knock on the door, "Room service!"

	"It's okay, really," Tracy insisted again, climbing to her feet and
heading to the door.  "Hi, come right in."  She smiled to the young
waiter, who wheeled in a cart laden with a large coffeepot, several mugs
and a huge plate of chocolate eclairs.  Just the thing to lighten her
mood.

	Screed came and signed the form, adding on a healthy tip, as Tracy
attacked the pastry, "Thare ya go me good man."  

	The waiter smiled and turned to leave, then stopped as he remembered
something, "Oh!  You have a basket!"

	"Baa-kit?"  Tracy asked around an eclair, she swallowed before asking,
"What basket?"

	The waiter went back to the cart and pulled aside the table cloth
draping it, there on the second shelf of the cart was a large wicker
basket filled with a large assortment of flowers, champagne bottles,
fruits and various envelopes.  "You guys won the drawing!"  He told them
excitedly.

	"We did?"  She asked, she couldn't remember entering one.  Of course,
she couldn't remember checking in either...

	"Yeah, you folks have fun!" The waiter beamed, shutting the door as he
left.  "Enjoy!"  

	Left alone with the cart, it only took seconds for Tracy to pull the
ungainly gift basket out, "Oooff."

	"Anythin' good?"  Screed asked as he watched her dissect the festive
prize.  Curiosity was one of the driving forces in Tracy's personality,
and it showed as she shredded the envelopes to find out what was inside.

	"Tickets!  Gift Certificates!"  Tracy held them up with one hand while
continuing to dig with the other, "Ooo, chocolates!"

	Screed poured himself a cup of coffee, then paused and poured one for
her too.  Walking to her side he looked over the bits of paper, there was
a gift certificate for 'Stained,' a beauty parlor of some kind he guessed
from the stylized bouffant on the card and another for 'Timeless Photos'.
 There were a few pairs of tickets as well, most weren't anything very
interesting, but a bright pink pair caught his eye and he picked them up.
 "'Ello, wots this un?"

	Tracy sipped her coffee and peered over his shoulder, the tickets were
for an 10 o'clock performance, tonight.  There was a street address, but
the name of the show was listed only as 'N.O.I.'  "Hmm, wanna go?"

	Screed raised a brow, "I dun 'ave tha slightest as ta wot it is."

	"It'll be an adventure," She grinned impishly, "That's why we came to
Vegas after all."

	"Speak fer yerself Ba-uh, Tracy," He smiled even as she glared, "I came
ta Veggy ta gamble."

	"We did that last night, and lost," She reminded him. "Come on, please?"

	"Okee dokee," He gave a long-suffering sigh, "We can go do the touristy
sight-watcher thang iffen ya wants."

	"I wants." She echoed, leaning up to give him a quick kiss on the cheek
before sweeping off to claim the bathroom first for all of womankind.

	"Yeah, lets pretend like I even 'ad a choice in tha matter huh?"  Screed
shook his head, then opened one of the bottles of bubbly and took a swig.
 He eyed the plush green teddy bear that had been included in their
basket for some inexplicable reason. He swatted the toy, not really as
annoyed at having his vacation dictated by a slip of a girl as he'd have
thought.  "Next thang ya know she'll 'ave me as wupped as any real 'ubby!
 I'll be shinin' 'er shoes an' pickin' up tha dry cleanin' and-"

	He continued griping, then jumped when he felt her touch his shoulder,
"Ack!"

	"You and the bear having a nice talk?"  She asked lightly, her eyes
twinkling.  

	"I, er, tha is, I-" He fumbled a moment, then glared at the bear, then
her before heading off to the bathroom to get dressed himself.  He could
hear Tracy giggling behind him... then explaining to the bear that he was
under a lot of stress and not to mind him.  He couldn't help but chuckle,
she was one odd bird his Tracy was.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Comments and gift baskets to anteros@juno.com

*Disclaimers in part one

Viva Las Vegas! (5/6)
By: Cousin Mary (Jenkins)

	"Ya sure ya want photygraphic evidence o' this week Baby Tracy?"  He
watched her roll her eyes, more from the nick-name than anything else. 
He felt a smile tug at his lips as he stood back and let her sort through
the racks of costumes.  After breakfast they'd decided to put some of
their gift certificates to good use, and Tracy had wanted to use the
Timeless Photo one first.   He smiled as he remembered her excitement at
the idea of dressing up and having their picture taken as whatever she
wanted.  And what she'd wanted was wedding pictures.  He couldn't help
but grin, even as she picked out the most gawd-awful tux for him.

	"Kay, there's yours," Tracy bit her lip and focused her attention on the
rack of white gowns, "Now mine."
	
	"Git sumpthin' short, ta show off yer long luscious legs." Screed
suggested with a leer worthy of the campiest movie villian.
 
	Tracy shot him a look, "You want to marry a tart?"

	"Welly, I don't see no beige frock," He pointed out, unable to keep the
grin off his face. Teasing her was more fun than the nickel slots ever
were.  "And ya -did- want ta be 'wild an' crazy'."

	"Oh yeah, sure," Tracy giggled as she searched for her size, "No fair
throwing my own words back at me."

	Screed chuckled, turning to idly look through the racks of period
costumes.  Another feature of this place was to get an 'antique' photo,
though for Screed it was more like a walk down memory lane.  He paused at
the bustles, he could still remember Urs' screaming fit after he'd
accidentally crushed hers in Carson City, way back in 1896.  He probably
still had scars were those shoes she'd hurled had landed.  

	"Screed?"  Tracy called out hesitantly.  

	He turned and his breath caught.  She'd found a dress, and already
changed while he'd been reminiscing.  A long white satin shift,
embroidered up one side with roses and laurel.  It hugged her slim frame
and accentuated each curve.  He swallowed audibly, "Ya look...
incredible."

	"You don't think it's too much?" She blushed, slipping her hands across
the high neck then into her pinned up hair.

	"Nah."  He couldn't tear his eyes off her.  In all his years he didn't
think he'd ever seen a more beautiful sight than Tracy in her wedding
gown.  "It's perfect."

	"Okay, as long as you don't think I'm being silly."  She smiled shyly
and fussed a bit more with her hair.

	"Never," He started to say something else when she looked pointedly at
the tux he still held in his hands, "Ah, I guess it's my turn ta change,
huh?"  

	"If I'm a bride, I better have a groom," She winked at him, "And since
Mel Gibson is already taken, you'll do."

	"Second only ta Mad Max am I?"  Screed laughed, moving past her to the
draped dressing area, "Suppose I can live wit' that."

	Tracy smiled and waited while he ducked into the dressing room.  The
door, of what was probably just a converted closet, was covered by a
piece of dark red velvet and only went so far down.  She watched his
boots come off, then his jeans puddle on the ground before he stepped
into the black tux pants.  He really had the nicest feet.  Tracy blushed
when she caught herself staring. God, she had a problem.

	"Eyo, ready fer tha gran' unveilin'?"  He called out.

	"As I'll ever be," Tracy leaned back against the wall and let her
fingers beat against the dry wall in an impromptu drum roll.  Then, he
came out, and her fingers stopped.  Hell, her heart stopped.  He
looked... well, really good!  "Oh, wow."

	Screed took in her shocked expression and couldn't figure out if she was
happy with the outcome or horrified.  He looked down at himself, fitted
black jacket, white shirt, matching tie and cummerbund, trousers... no
shoes, but his boots wouldn't fit under the pant legs and over wasn't
really an option either.  "Sorry 'bout the lack o' mukluks but-"

	"No that's okay," She said, circling around him slowly.  

	"They won't show up in the pictures anyway!"  The photographer popped up
with a huge grin to assure the couple.  Albert Von Muenster had been
running Timeless Photos, formerly Happy Memories, formerly Al's House of
Wacky for going on thirty years.  He'd seen it all, and nobody, but
nobody were better customers than Vegas honeymooners.  They just had no
concept of 'budget,' and that's exactly the kind of customers he wanted. 
"If you two beautiful kids could just hope up on the platform... what
background ya want?  The Strip, Niagara Falls, Graceland?"

	"Wait, I need a bouquet!" Tracy looked around at the displays of props,
but any sort of flower arrangements, be they silk or even plastic, were
mysteriously absent.  She looked at the photographer questioningly. 

	Albert rubbed his meaty hands together, this is when it came in handy to
also own 'Al's House of Flora' next door.  God bless strip malls! 
"Actually, we're fresh out," He gave them what he hoped was a forlorned
expression, "But there just -happens- to be one of the best florists in
town right next door..."

	"Oh well, forget it then," Tracy sighed, "It's not that important."

	Screed frowned, scam or not, if Tracy wanted a bouquet, he'd make sure
she got one, "'Old on Tracy baby, I'll be back inna jiffy."  

	"Screed you don't have to-" She trailed off as he hurried out the front
door... in his bare feet.  She smiled despite herself and waited for his
return.  In less than five minutes he was back with a huge handful of
white roses, lilies and baby's breath.  "Oh Screed!"  She beamed, she
couldn't help it, "They're wonderful!"

	Albert licked his lips, that was at least a 50 buck bouquet!  Ah Vegas
honeymooners, nothing like them!  "All right kiddos!  Show time!"

	Tracy and Screed climbed up on the platform and after a bit of arguing
decided on the 'little white chapel' back drop.  They smiled the whole
time, ignoring Al's pleas to 'feed the camera with their love.'  Of
course, as Al snapped pictures and Tom Jone's 'Pussycat' played loudly in
the background, they got progressively goofier.  They'd started off
standing demurely, but by the end of the roll Tracy was sitting in
Screed's lap and the bouquet was atop his head.  With one last peal of
laughter from the bride, Screed stood up with her in his arms and swung
her around as Al snapped the last picture.

	"Perfect!" Al beamed, they'd want the deluxe set of prints for sure! 
"All right now, how ya kids want to pay for this?"

	After being set down, Tracy smiled at Al and told him they had a gift
certificate.  Al's grin faded a bit, oh well, it'd technically already
been paid for then.  And actually, these two would probably want to
spring for above and beyond the gift ticket anyway...  He pasted on his
best used car man grin and prepared to sell them on it.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

	An hour later Screed pulled into the parking lot of their next
adventure.  Though back in their regular clothes, Tracy was still
cradling the bouquet as well as the receipt for their pictures, which Al
assured them would be done by the end of the week.  Sure the deluxe
package had been a little extra, but well, when was the next time either
of them were going to be getting married in Vegas, right?

	"It's an ice rink!"  Tracy looked up at the building.  She sat down her
flowers and pulled out the two day-glo N.O.I. show tickets.  "The O.I.
must stand for 'On Ice.'"  She guessed as she handed their tickets to the
bored looking cashier.

	Screed nodded as they found their seats.  "Well, I n'vr been ta no ice
capades bethree." He confessed, looking around the amphitheater with
interest, he'd been to plenty of hockey games, but never seen ice skating
anywhere but the Olympics on the telly.

	"Gosh, it's been -years- since I have."  Tracy grinned, "Uncle Sonny
used to take me all the time when I was a kid."

	Screed smiled, a smile that grew when Tracy leaned to rest her head on
his shoulder while she recounted the many shows her favorite uncle had
taken her to.  Cinderella, Snow White, the Nutcracker Suite. "I wonder
wot this un'll be?"  No sooner was the question out then the lights began
to dim.

	//"Ladies and Gentlemen, we are proud to present tonight's feature
performance, held over by overwhelming popular demand... the story of a
boy and his weapon, 'the Sword and the Stone.'  So sit back and enjoy
your night at Vegas's premier adult skating venue, Nudes on Ice!"//

	Screed sat stalk still as the last words washed over him.  They couldn't
have said?  Surely he'd heard wrong.  Something sounding like a strangled
gasp came from Tracy, who was still leaning against his arm.  He looked
down, her eyes were as wide as saucers and her jaw had dropped.

	"We are -not- staying," Tracy insisted in a whisper.

	Screed watched with interest as the woman next to him went three shades
of pink before pulling away to make a run for it.  "Hey now," He grabbed
her arm and pulled her back into the seat, "I thought ya wuz tha un that
wanted ta expand yer 'orizons?  Do somethin' ya'd nev'r done?"

	Tracy gave him a disbelieving look, "You actually want to stay?"

	He pretended to think about that.  Truth was he didn't much care to
watch a bunch of people skate around naked as jay birds, but then again,
he couldn't think of anything more fun than watching his pretty new amiga
squirm through the night beet red with embarrassment.  "Come on now Tracy
luv, ya 'ave seen nekkid people I assumes, an' tha show is free...  So I
says, why not?" 

	Tracy just stared at him, so long that Screed thought for sure she was
going to balk, but in the end she just squared her shoulders and settled
back with a determined expression on her face.  He could almost hear the
'Fine, I'll show you!' radiating from her locked jaw and upturned nose. 
He chuckled and pulled her back against his side.  This should be
interesting.  

	Out of the darkness a series of spot lights clicked on.  Red, yellow,
blue and white.  The music started, something that reminded them both of
old carousel music, half organ half flute.  First thing they noticed was
the sparse scenery scatted across the ice, a few plastic trees, a two
dimensional wooden cow cut out and then what was probably supposed to be
the fenced in church yard, complete with a sword handle thrusting out of
a plaster-of-paris stone.  

	When the music swelled, out came a chorus line of buxom peasant girls. 
And boy were they ever buxom!  Tracy's eyes widened again as she took in
the sea of bobbing silicone.  The women all had tiny skirts that were
left open in front, they were also topless but wore the typical peasant
woman's hat, which she knew from the Girl Guides was called a snood,
proclaiming their apparent social class.  The surgically enhanced horde
skated around the rink as the New Jersey accented narrator came over the
speakers to explain the plot.  Tracy started giggling, but when an usher
shone a flashlight in her face and gave her disapproving look, she
quieted.  

	Screed nudged her, "Careful baby-luv, don't go gettin' us kicked out."

	Tracy giggled again, her getting thrown out of Nudes on Ice, now -that-
was something Nick and  the precinct would never believe!

	Again the music swelled and at last the hero came skating at break neck
speed off from stage left.  Arthur was wearing a hat, full sleeved white
shirt, a jerkin-vest, but except for the black ice skates on his feet...
was naked from the waist down.  The would-be king executed a perfect
double axle, then stopped on a dime.  Breathing hard, the star stood
perfectly still as the spot light focused on him.  Well... not -all- of
him was perfectly still, part of the well-endowed performer still swayed
with his momentum.  

	Tracy burst out laughing.  She couldn't help it.  She covered her mouth,
trying to muffle the sound, but in the suddenly quiet arena it still
echoed.  The skaters all looked at her and that didn't help one bit.  The
absurdity of it all was just overwhelming, she laughed harder and felt
tears spilling over her cheeks as she buried her head in Screed's
shoulder, shaking with laughter.

	Screed wasn't doing too well himself.  He'd been thinking the show was
one of the most ridiculous things he'd ever seen, but had been able to
control his mirth... that is, until Tracy started up.  As soon as she
started laughing he lost it and cracked up himself, and when she pressed
against him as if to hide, he laughed even harder.  

	"I'm going to have to ask you two to leave."  A stony faced usher
informed them haughtily, "If you can't appreciate the art involved you
shouldn't be here."

	Screed and Tracy got themselves under control and nodded as one.  As
they left, they were careful not to look at each other until they were
back out in the parking lot, because as soon as they did, they burst out
laughing once more.  

	"Oh God!"  Tracy doubled over as soon as they reached the Caddy, "That
was the stupidest-" She trailed off as another fit of giggles over took
her.

	Screed just shook his head, "Ya know I lived back then, an' not once did
I ferget me breeches like that."  

	Tracy giggled, "Never, huh?"

	"Nope, nah even if a 'erd o' peasant gals were jus' skatin' 'round tha
country side nekkid." 

	"Well then," Tracy wiped her eyes, "Maybe we should march back in there
and explain all the historical inaccuracies."    

	"I dunno," Screed opened the passenger side door for her before walking
around to get behind the wheel himself, "This wuz tha first show I seen
where they got tha cows roight.  They wuz all wooden an' flat back then,
ya knows." 

	"Really?" She asked wide-eyed as she fought another fit of giggles, "And
to think, I always thought that was only a myth!"

	"Nope, flatter than pancakes one an' all."  He winked at her before
starting the Caddy and pulling into traffic.  "We best git goin' befer
Arthur comes out ta talk ta us 'bouts respectin' 'is art."

	"I don't know, I think his 'art' was quite respectable," Tracy settled
back into her seat and took another sniff of her bouquet, "Considering
how cold it was and all."

	Screed cracked up again and had to fight to keep the giant auto on the
road.  He gave the innocently smiling Tracy a look and shook his head. 
Apparently he didn't have to worry about corrupting the blonde... he was
much too late for that.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Comments and well endowed skating men to anteros@juno.com

*Disclaimers in part one

Viva Las Vegas! (6/6)
By: Cousin Mary (Jenkins)

	"**Brrrrinnnngggg!**"

	Some part of Tracy's sleep addled brain recognized that the irritating
noise coming from about three feet from her head was the phone, but she
was still too asleep to realize there was anyway to stop it.  She buried
her head deeper into her pillows.  After the N.O.I. debacle, her and
Screed had gone for a picnic on the roof of the NY, NY hotel/casino. 
He'd flown her up there and they'd watched the neon strip as they ate
from a wicker basket they'd picked up at Rock Around the Clock.  It'd
been fun, until the mosquitoes had found them.  God, and she'd thought
Screed was a blood sucker!

	"**Brrrrinnnngggg!**"

	They'd talked about everything, made more than a few jokes at poor
Arthur's expense as well as managing some -slightly- deeper conversation.
 Finally, linking arms they sipped from their gift basket champagne and
ended up toasting their wedding.  Then they'd kissed.   Tracy cuddled
deeper into her blanket cocoon as she smiled at the memory.  It had been
sweet and Screed had been so shy about everything!  She grinned ear to
ear, if he'd been able to blush he'd have been bright red. It had
happened almost but not quite by accident, they'd leaned in to drink
their champagne, they'd bumped heads and laughed together, then suddenly
their lips had met...

	"**Brrrrinnnngggg!**"

	Tracy whimpered at being rudely dragged back into consciousness and
reached for the receiver, "Hello?"

	"Who is this?"

	Rubbing her eyes, Tracy sat up slowly and frowned at the vaguely
familiar male voice. "Tracy.  Who's this?"

	"Tracy -Vetter-?"  There was a pause, "Why are you in Vegas?  And more
importantly... why are you using my credit card?"

	Her eyes widened, Vachon?! Oh God, Master Visa Express must have called
him about the unusual spending on his card!    "We're going to pay you
back, don't worry!"  She rushed to assure him.

	"'We?'  Who's we?"

	On the couch, Screed raised his head sleepily, "Baby?  Wot time is et? 
An' who ya talkin' ta at this ungawdly 'our?"  

	 For a second Tracy seriously thought he'd hung up on her, that's how
silent he got at the sound of the other man's voice.  "Vachon?  You still
there?"

	Screed was wide awake then, he stood up and walked slowly and
mechanically across the room and sat down next to her.  They both looked
a bit shell-shocked as the reality of the situation suddenly hit them. 
After taking a deep breath he made a motion and Tracy handed him the
phone.  "Vachonetti?  Wotever ya thinkin'..."

	"I should have know you'd do something like this."  The quiet accusation
somehow carried to even Tracy's ears.  She gasped, her eyes meeting
Screed's even as she shook her head, they hadn't done anything to be
ashamed of... not really.

	"Nuthins 'appened V-man," Screed's voice shook slightly and Tracy
watched as he closed his eyes, as if praying Vachon would hear him out. 
"Perfecto gentlemun, slept un tha couch, 'aven't touched a 'air on 'er-"

	Tracy frowned, she didn't like where this was going at all.  And what
did Screed mean nothing happened?  Hadn't their time together meant
anything to him?  She was surprised how hurt she was by that, but bit her
lip and decided to get through the situation at hand.  She grabbed back
the phone, "This is all your fault anyway!"  She told Vachon flippantly,
waving a hand at Screed's horrified expression.  "I mean, if you'd been
where you'd supposed to be then I wouldn't have had to kidnap Screed!"

	"You kidnapped him?"  Vachon's disbelief was evident, but there was also
a trace of amusement in his voice. Hope lit the Screed's green eyes and
she smiled.

	"Hell yeah I did!"  Tracy started getting into it, "Nick made some crack
about me being boring and predictable, so when I found out Screed was
coming to Vegas I made him take me too."  She declared with the aplomb of
a queen.  "If you'd been around you would have had to have come too."

	"Oh really?"  Now Vachon really was smiling, "Sorry to have missed my
own kidnapping."

	"You should be," Tracy nodded, even though he couldn't see her.  Screed
looked on with awe.  "By the way, how's Urs?"  

	Screed frowned, getting up and moving into the bathroom while Tracy
continued to happily tease his best mate. He sighed and turned on the
shower, drowning out the sound of laughter floating in from the bedroom. 
"She certainly fergot ol' Screed in a 'eart beat didn't she?"  He asked
his reflection with a sneer.  And why wouldn't she?  What would a great
gal like Tracy Vetter ever want with someone like him? 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

	Back in Toronto, Tracy sat behind her desk and pretended to work.  A
deep sigh escaped her, causing Nick to look up and raise a questioning
brow.  She'd been moping around the precinct ever since she got back. 
She just shook her head and turned back to the 180 form in front of her
even as her mind drifted back.

	Screed and her Vegas vacation hadn't lasted long after Vachon called;
hearing from him had kind of taken the wind out of their sails... as well
as the credit card out of their pockets.  And by the next night they'd
been back on a plane to Toronto.  Tracy sighed again as she remembered
the tense and silent ride.  She'd still been upset about what he'd said
to Vachon, that nothing had happened.  She didn't know what Screed's deal
had been, but he'd just starred blankly out the window and thrown the
occasional peanut at the kids across the aisle.

	"Vetter, this just came for you."

	"Thanks Miller," Tracy looked up and smiled her thanks as the officer
threw a large manila envelope on her desk.  Glancing at the return
address her heart nearly stopped, Timeless Photos, Las Vegas, Nevada. 
She'd forgotten she'd put work as the address to send them to if they
failed to pick them up.  Sliding her pen under the flap she quickly tore
into it.  

	Photo after glossy photo of Screed and her, grinning like idiots and
hamming it up for the camera.  She felt a lump grow in her throat and she
quickly stuffed them into her top drawer.  Nick asked her if something
was wrong but she just shook her head, sniffling and slightly annoyed by
her own sentimentality.   Really, she was acting like some lovesick
teenager!   After all, it wasn't like it had even meant anything... Hell,
Screed had probably already forgotten all about her!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

	"And then what should I find?   Bourbon, with not one, but two of them! 
Well, I couldn't leave him in a bind so-"

	Screed nodded as Vachon droned on about his latest conquest.  Wine,
women and song.  He'd been with the V-man for over 400 years and it had
always been like this.  And until last week it hadn't even occurred to
him that he'd ever -want- it to be different.  

	"Isn't that just the way?"  Vachon paused dramatically.

	"Uh-huh, abserlutly."  He agreed absently. And that must have been what
he wanted because then the Spaniard launched into where Urs had been
during all this.  Screed looked at his handsome friend as he paced the
church floors, he could see why women fell for him.  All poetic and
princely, total opposite of ol' Screed.   

	The carouche slumped back into the stained couch. Vachon hadn't even
asked about Tracy much.  Apparently he wasn't worried at all that they'd
spent half a week across the continent together.  The former conquistador
had been with Urs and Bourbon anyway.  Screed frowned, he knew why Vachon
didn't mind, he knew Tracy hadn't seen their time together as anything
more than a lark.  That's all it had been, he sighed, so why the hell
couldn't he seem to get her out of his mind?

	"So I figure, you've got to fight for you want!" Vachon continued with a
hearty laugh, "Damn the consequences!  Maybe you won't win the girl, but
at least you'll know you tried!"

	"Ya know, yer roight Vachenetti!" Screed's leapt to his feet and grabbed
his friend's shoulders, shaking him, "Tha worse she can do is say 'nay'
rioght?!"

	"Huh?"  The Spaniard blinked. "What're you-"

	"Wish me luck amigo!"  Screed launched himself skyward, "I is so gonna
needs it!"

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

	"Well enough of this!"  Back across town Tracy threw down her still
unfinished report and climbed to her feet.  She'd thought long and hard
and realized that she'd never been the sort to just -let- things happen. 
Take the bull by the horns and pick your own destiny, that's her way. 
After all, that's how she'd ended up in Vegas in the first place!  And
now she'd met the greatest guy.  A guy who was smart and funny and loyal
and she was just going to let him drift out of her life?  Hell no she
wasn't!

	Shooting Nick a 'just try and stop me' look and grabbing the pictures,
Tracy headed for the door, intent of finding Screed and -making- him fall
for her as much as she'd fallen for him.   She got as far as the front
desk before she, literally, ran into him.  "Screed!"

	The cockney sailor reached out to steady them both before they tumbled
over.  He looked down into her bright blue eyes and almost lost his
nerve.  She was looking at him like she couldn't believe he was here.  He
looked around, they were surrounded by cops.  Well, that would make sense
he guessed, considering this was a Police Precinct and all.  Out of
desperation he thrust the flowers he'd just bought at her.   

	Startled, Tracy took them, dropping her envelope in the process.  When
she saw what they were she didn't care that their photos were scattering
across the linoleum.  White roses, lilies and baby's breath, the same as
her wedding bouquet.  "Oh Screed."

	Seeing the tears gathering in her eyes he almost ran for it.  He didn't
want to hurt or embarrass her, but...  He fell to his knees, "This es too
importan' fer me ta naht give it a go."  There were gasps around the room
as saw him on his knees, but he ignored them all.  Even Knight's presence
wouldn't make him hold his tongue now.  "Tracy, I luv ya.  Will ya do me
tha 'onor an' marry me... again?"

	For one breathtaking moment the world stood still, all eyes trained on
Tracy who just stood there stalk still, staring down at him with wide
unreadable eyes.  Then, ever so slowly she slipped to her knees too.  And
by the time she was throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him the
room had already exploded with applause.  After a few moments, she pulled
back and smiled breathlessly, "In case you haven't figured it out, that's
a yes."

	"Thank ya," Screed beamed as they climbed to their feet, accepting the
congratulations and back slaps from too many uniforms to count.  He
turned back to Tracy, "Now where were ya goin' in such a 'urry anyways?"

	She blushed, "To find you of course."

	Screed felt his heart swell and beat painfully in his chest, he opened
his mouth to say something when the sound of someone loudly clearing his
throat caught their attention.  Both Tracy and him turned, it was Nick
Knight and in his hand was one of their wedding pictures.  Screed
swallowed audibly, waiting for the older vampire's reaction.

	"I see congratulations are in order," He smiled fondly at Tracy before
looking back down at the photo.  It showed Screed and her smiling and
laughing, her bouquet flattened against his shoulder as he swept her into
a tango-style dip.  "Looks like you didn't spend your vacation
reorganizing your closets after all."

	"Nope," Tracy agreed, leaning against Screed and slipping her hand into
his.  "I fell in love instead."

	Nick smiled before turning his attention on Screed, his eyes hardened. 
"If you ever hurt her-"

	"I won't!"  Screed promised fervently, "I'd do anythin' ta make 'er
'appy."

	Nick seemed taken aback by the wave of devotion in the other man's eyes
when he looked at his partner.  There was no doubt that Screed would die
to protect his bride.  He held out his hand,  "Congratulations."

	Screed looked down at the proffered hand with shock, but then gripped
and shook it firmly, "I'll treat 'er good Knight."

	"He knows you will," Tracy piped up with a grin, "And if you don't, I'll
just shoot you."

	Nick and Tracy laughed, and after a moment Screed joined in too.  Well
one thing was for sure, life married to Tracy would always be as exciting
as Vegas.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
That's it :)  All comments and wedding invitations to anteros@juno.com
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Hollow/1228/