Judge Trudy: A Knight to Remember by: Patty Costantino To Reader: FYI, Alexandra was the barmaid in Fatal Mistake during the First Season and Lisette was the flashback victim in Trophy Girl during the Third Season. This story takes place one week after last segment, Judge Trudy: The Knightly Saga Continues. I also suggest reading A Knight of Woes with Judge Trudy and Another Woeful Knight with Judge Trudy to get the continuous storyline Characters: Nick, LaCroix, Alexandra, Judge Trudy and others. Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me. I am only borrowing them. Real Cases! Real People! Judge Trudy! Court Reporter: Tonight, we have some most interesting developments. It seems that the plaintiff, Miss Alexandra Deluxe is demanding compensatory damages for the ruination of her life by the defendants, Mr. Nicholas B. Knight and Mr. Lucien LaCroix. (Judge's chambers) LaCroix: My dear, you look exquisite as always. (kissing her hand) A radiance such as yours is more satisfying than anything I've beheld in my centu...my years here on earth. Judge Trudy: Oh, Lucien. (other hand on breast, shaking head and laughing giddily) Your flattering words take my breath away. LaCroix: (smiling sardonically) Not yet, madam, but very soon! I'm swept away by your great WARMTH of feeling and fervor. Judge Trudy: (giggling uncontrollably) You also inflame a passion in me that I haven't felt in years. Lucien, whenever I think of you, you get my blood boiling. LaCroix: You mustn't do that, my dear! It would spoil the taste...I mean ..We don't want to allow our blood to boil with too much passion. The moment may be spoiled by an interruption. (eyeing the door leading to courtroom.) Judge Trudy: You're right. Joe may come barging in at any moment. I better simmer down. LaCroix: A wise decision, madam. We will have the opportunity after this tedious courtroom drama to rekindle our feelings during the ballet. (leading her to courtroom) Shall we go? Courtroom: (Alexandra is seen skimpily clad in an outfit resembling a playboy bunny. Plenty of cleavage showing as well.) Clerk of the Court: All rise, for the honorable Judge Trudy. This court is now in session. You may be seated. Judge Trudy: (staring disapprovingly at Alexandra) Did I miss Halloween or some costume party? Young lady, are you trying to undermine my courtroom with your, shall we say, unacceptable attire? Alexandra: Under...Undermine? Ummmm...I don't know? I work nights as a cocktail waitress at the La Flamingo on 23rd and King. I have to be there at 11:00 pm. I didn't think it would matter. Judge Trudy: (looking at ceiling) You're correct, Miss Deluxe. You didn't THINK! 11:00 pm is FOUR hours away. This is a petty court system where people complain about minor short-term problems; no longer than 1/2 hr at the most. (smiling smuggly) Were you planning to entertain us for the remaining 3 1/2 hrs? (men in courtroom, leaning forward anxiously awaiting her response) Alexandra: Well, I suppose I have time to KILL! (interminable silence ensues, then light bulb goes on in her head, suddenly realizing her pun) Oh! KILL...you, get it? Oh my! (laughing hysterically, her attributes jiggling like jello) (men leaning over even further in seats to get view.) Judge Trudy: I don't understand the humor and I don't appreciate your attitude. (glancing at Court Clerk) Joe! Joe?....(Joe is ,how shall we say, focused on Miss Deluxe's attributes...Judge Trudy leans down to hiss in Joe's ear.) Joe! Clerk: ummm....(comes out of reverie) Yes, ma'am! Judge Trudy: Joe, please provide Miss Deluxe with your overcoat. (Joe reluctantly hands coat to Alexandra which she puts on.) Now, shall we proceed, gentlemen and young lady? Miss Deluxe, is that you're given name? Alexandra: It's actually my stage name. Dumas is my real one. I changed it a few years back in hopes of becoming a famous model, stripper or playboy centerfold. I've been told I have some talents in those areas. A girl can't be a waitress FOREVER, you know! Judge Trudy: (sarcastically) Such high aspirations! So, where and when did you meet Mr. Knight and Mr. LaCroix? Alexandra: Let_ me_ see.....I was serving up the hardiest and finest wines and ales at a tavern in the heart of town around 1665.... Judge Trudy: Miss Deluxe, are you deliberately playing me for a fool? Do I look like an idiot to you? Nick: What Alexandra...Miss Deluxe means is she was waitressing at a bar about FOUR years ago when LaCroix and I entered that establishment. Isn't that right, Alexandra? (giving her a meaningful look.) Alexandra: Oh, ...Nicholas is absolutely right, your honor. It was 4 years ago. (laughing) Silly me! Can't remember dates if my life depended on it. I'm such a ninny with numbers. Oh...well! Judge Trudy: You say here (reviewing affidavit) that Mr. Knight and Mr. LaCroix proceeded to ruin your evening. In what manner, did they do this? Alexandra: Yes, they changed my life to...for all eternity. I was never the same person after these two guys came into my life. Judge Trudy: Tell us about it. Alexandra: They came into the place like they owned the joint. (warming to the subject) Mr. LaCroix whamm...I mean informed several blokes that he and Nicholas were having their seats. LaCroix: Miss Deluxe, I was merely the concerned citizen, ensuring the welfare of those gentlemen. They appeared QUITE intoxicated. I simply expediated their departure. Nick: You mean you used your influential powers to remove them from the premises. Judge Trudy: All right! You fellas! Let's not start up! Continue, Miss Deluxe! Alexandra: After they were seated, I asked them, "What'll it be?" ....to drink..that is. (smiling at the memory) Mr. Knight seemed more interested in staring at my...chest than ordering drinks. Judge Trudy: Did you stare at her...ummm..attributes, Mr. Knight? LaCroix: (amused) Yes, Nicholas, do explain! Were her endowments the prize for the plucking? Nick: (uncomfortable) ummm.. Yes, I did notice her endowments. Let me explain. As I recall, we ordered the finest wine from the cellar. We discussed payments and possible donations to the bar. When Miss Deluxe WILLINGLY retired to my chambers later, we continued to discuss those endowments. Judge Trudy: Is this correct, Miss Deluxe? Did you consentually agreed to go with Mr. Knight to his room? Alexandra: (confused) Yes...I think so.... I couldn't resist his charms, but I don't remember discussing money with him. I remember talking about not having a thing to wear in our travels together. (giggling) I wanted him to take me places. He said he could take me to a place right now... Judge Trudy: Ok! Ok! I get the picture. Finances weren't the principle topic of conversation. Alexandra: (giggling) No, not exactly. Judge Trudy: What happened next?,P> Alexandra: Mr. Knight and I were in a passionate embrace when he suddenly had his way with me and left. He was such a typical guy. You know, how guys can't seem to stick around after sex? Well, Mr. Knight was no different..... Your honor.... Why can't men hang around and cuddle for a while? It's always the same. Slam, bam, thank you ma'am. Nick: Alexandra...you must know that my special nature compelled me to feed on...to feed the fire burning within me. Miss Deluxe's alluring ways aroused a hunger in me. I had to take her. (angsting) I couldn't stop myself. LaCroix: Oh...Nicholas! How many times must I tell you this! You...are...NOT...suppose...to...stop! Miss Deluxe was in your thrall. She wanted to be taken to the edge. Nick: I shouldn't have allowed things to get out of hand. I only feel shame for what I did. Alexandra: Good, Nicholas! You should feel shame. I was a mere innocent. You took advantage of me! Judge Trudy: (laughing uncontrollably) Please! A mere innocent! Come now, Miss Deluxe. A bit of an exaggeration, don't you think given the circumstances? Alexandra: I guess I wasn't what you call a blushing bride or as pure as the freshly falling snow, but what Mr. Knight did to me...leaving me for dead.... LaCroix: What Miss Deluxe means is the experience between them was quite draining. She required much sleep after the occurrence. Judge Trudy: What happened next, Miss Deluxe? Alexandra: The next thing I knew I was awakened by LaCroix. Judge Trudy: My Lucien? ummmm...I mean Mr. LaCroix was in your bedroom? Alexandra: Yes, he came to me and we shared the most erotic moment together. He gave me something so wonderful, so sweet like honey... Judge Trudy: (giving LaCroix the evil eye) I don't want to hear another word, Miss Deluxe... LaCroix: Madam, you misconstrue. I merely presented Miss Deluxe with a hot toddy which was sweet as honey. Isn't that what actually happened, my dear? Judge Trudy: Spare me, Lucien. Alexandra: Mr. Lacroix did give me a drink of sorts. It changed my life, though. He gave me eternal damn.... LaCroix: eternal youthfulness, wasn't it, Miss Deluxe? The toddy acted as a sort of fountain of youth. Nick: (enjoying LaCroix's discomfort) The same fountain of youth you were going to bestow upon Lisette, LaCroix? LaCroix: Nicholas, you know perfectly well I never intended to bring Lisette acro...to provide her with the fountain of youth. She was a prize, quite intoxicating, in fact. However, I did not wish to spend eternity with her. Nick: But, you did have dark designs on her, did you not? LaCroix: Indeed, Nicholas! I had designs on her, but I seem to recall that you took her. I merely got to share in the experience after you had had your fill of her! Judge Trudy: Ok! I've heard enough! I don't believe that the court wishes to hear about your lewd, vulgar menage a trois. I certainly don't want to! LaCroix: Madam, the situation was not at all what it appeared to be! Judge Trudy: Ssh.. Be quiet, Mr. LaCroix. Miss Deluxe, what compensatory damages were you claiming against these two gentlemen? Alexandra: Compensa...Compensa..What? Judge Trudy: (rolling her eyes) How much money did you want Mr. Knight and Mr. LaCroix to provide you? Alexandra: (giggling) Well, this modeling school will take me for $2,000.00, but I'm not sure...ummm.. this other guy said he could introduce me to a Hugh Hefner? Said that I could be a dynamite centerfold...But he asked me the strangest question. He asked me if they were real. (cupping her breasts) I said, of course they were real! soo..to make a long story short.....I guess I only need money to get out to California for my big moment in Playboy. Judge Trudy: Oh, boy! What did I do to deserve this torture! Well, I've made my decision....and.. LaCroix: (locking on heartbeat and drawing Judge Trudy into trance) My dear, you need to consider your decision in your chambers. Judge Trudy: (hypnotic state) ...need to consider..(shakes head and comes out of trance) Cut the crap, LaCroix...you're not whammiing me this time! So don't even think about it! Considering the TRAUMA...... LaCroix: (attempting again to lock onto her heartbeat) Madam, Miss Deluxe's trauma was not as debilitating as previously surmised... Judge Trudy: It won't wash with me, LaCroix. Now then. Where was I? Considering the trauma Miss Deluxe endured at the hands of Mr. Knight and Mr. LaCroix, judgement to plaintiff of $2,000.00 to cover travel expenses. LaCRoix: (desperate) My dear, reconsider. I was simply protecting those two defenseless women from Nicholas. He is the culprit. Nick: That's utterly preposterous! You are just as much to blame for what happened as I am, LaCroix. Judge Trudy: Make that $3,000.00 to cover expenses. LaCroix: Really Madam, isn't that being rather harsh? Judge Trudy: $4,000.00! Nick: Be quiet, LaCroix, before we're bankrupt! Judge Trudy: Is that all, gentlemen? (Pause) Well, then! Court adjourned. (Judge Trudy exits quickly with LaCroix on her heels.) (Judge's Chambers) LaCroix: Madam, I understand why you might be perturbed... Judge Trudy: Perturbed? Perturbed? Lucien, my blood was boiling earlier out of passion. Now, it is BOILING OVER with blind fury...(throws a paper weight which misses target by inches) LaCroix: Really, my dear, is that necessary? You need to, how did you phrase it,....simmer down? Judge Trudy: I don't want to simmer down. I thought we had something special..something eternal... LaCroix: Madam, eternity is within our grasp, if you would merely put down that infernal object...(quickly ducks as glass vase shatters against door.) Interview room: (adjacent to Judge's chambers, ...sounds of breaking glass and loud thuds can be heard) Nick: (chuckling) Doesn't sound good to me. Interviewer: That Judge is one tough lady. She'll show him whose boss. Nick: That will be a new experience for LaCroix. (Alexandra walks over. Interviewer moves away.) Alexandra: Nicholas, no hard feelings? Nick: (smiling) No, Alexandra. Good luck in California. Alexandra: Fly out sometime. (giggling) Perhaps we could talk about those endowments. You never did see them, now did you? Nick: (eyeing her cleavage) No, I didn't! I'm sure they are the real thing. Alexandra: (leaning in to kiss Nick) Yes....They are real...and..they...are...SPECTACULAR! (walks away, leaving a flustered Nick, AGAIN!) What will happen next on Judge Trudy. Will she ever forgive the great and powerful Roman general? Stay tuned....Feedback is always more than welcomed.... Please email me at psmoot43@hotmail.com or sign my guestbook with your comments.