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Can't Work (1/1)
By: Cousin Mary


            It had been going on for months, I'll admit that, at least to
myself. It all started with a look, just one long soul melting, heart
stopping glance and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that he wanted me.
I'd been meeting Vachon at the time, but that hadn't mattered to him. 
He just stood behind the bar and continued to hold my eyes.  It scared me
a little, but not enough to tell Vachon.  When we left, I cast one last
look over my shoulder, but he wasn't watching anymore.  I tried to tell
myself I wasn't disappointed.

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            The next time was at the Raven again, this time trailing
after Nick as he went to speak with that radio DJ guy.  He'd left me at
the bar, with him.  He didn't say a word, just continued cleaning a glass
as he watched me with black as sin eyes.  He's tall, I noticed, a few
inches taller than me.  Broad shoulders, slim hips... at that point I
swallowed and looked away.  I had to move closer to perch on the stool,
but I didn't meet his eyes again for the ten minutes or so it took Nick
to finish up.  Longest ten minutes of my life.

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            Another week past before I saw him again, this time at Barnes
and Nobles.  He was reading something, hadn't even noticed me.  This gave
me a chance to really look at him.  His eyes were cast down, skimming
through the thick text.  His dark brows were furrowed, making me wonder
what he was reading so intently.  Then I pulled myself away from my
musings and just -looked- at him.  He was beautiful.  High cheekbones,
straight nose, a strong jaw that clenched as he came across some passage
he evidently didn't like.  He had a close-cropped beard and mustache that
framed his mouth.  And what a mouth!  Just slightly tinged pink, his lips
looked so incredibly soft...  He must have reached something interesting
in his book, because suddenly those lips parted and white teeth came
down, biting his full bottom lip.  I actually gasped out loud.  

            And he looked up, an amused look in his eyes.

            I knew then he'd known I was there, known the entire time. 
Hadn't Vachon once told me that a vampire could sense its prey a block
away?  And that's what I felt like at that moment, when his eyes lit on
me, like prey.  I stumbled back, nearly knocking over an old woman
looking at cook books.  I apologized quickly and hurried away.  I headed
to the CD section and pretended to browse for a few minutes, finally
slipping out when a book club broke up for the night.

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            Miklos.  That was his name.  Vachon was arguing with Urs
about something, another dancer I think.  It didn't really matter. 
Vachon slipped up and mentioned the bartender, Miklos, wouldn't let
mortals hire on.  I stilled.  They went on arguing, I listened, but they
didn't mention him again.  

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            The next time I saw him, Miklos, was at the precinct.  He'd
come in to give a statement about a fight that had broken out at the
Raven.  All the club's employees had made statements the night before,
but apparently they wanted to question the bartender further.  I watched,
from behind the one way glass, but he knew I was there.

            Vachon had just two nights before warned me that it couldn't
work out.  He meant between me and himself though.  Said that he'd
thought about it and knew that it couldn't work out.  He'd said he was
sorry.  It hadn't even hurt.  Not even my pride, much less my heart, was
hurt when he told me Urs was moving into the Church and that I could
still visit… just to knock first.  Not even a twinge of pain.  When I'd
left after that I wasn't thinking of what might have been with Vachon, I
was just repeating his speech in my head.  It couldn't work out.  Mortals
and vampires just weren't compatible.  But it wasn't Vachon's face I
pictured when I thought "vampire" anymore.

            I watched him through the glass.  Miklos carried himself
well.  Like some sort of athlete or dancer, completely comfortable with
his body.  He seemed amused by the questions the officer was asking, but
he answered fully and, as far as I could tell, honestly.

            I stayed in the observation room until I was sure he was
gone.  I never felt smaller or younger in my life.  Even now I can't tell
you why I was so afraid, or what I was even afraid of.  I didn't want him
seeing me, I didn't know what he could tell just be seeing me.  He knows
something though, those eyes…

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            Several weeks passed before I saw him again.  I couldn't even
begin to avoid him that time, he was sitting on the hood of my car when I
came off shift.  That he was waiting for me was really the only possible
reason, but I still had to stop myself from looking behind me, in case
there was someone else.

            I walked up cautiously, scared, but excited too.  I knew he
was attracted to me, but what I didn't know was what he was planning on
doing about it.  As for me, I was using up all my nerve just walking to
my car.  Part of me wanted to just duck back inside the precinct 'til
dawn, but apparently I not a –complete- coward.

            Before I knew it I was standing in front of him, he stood and
took a step closer.  So close I had to crane my neck to look up at him. 
I could feel my heart start to beat double time and my head started to
swirl.  Then, suddenly, he was kissing me.

            Whatever I'd been expecting, that wasn't it.  I gasped and he
slipped his tongue in my mouth.  His arms came around me as he nearly
devoured me.  I response was almost automatic, I felt my body react,
touching, kissing, hungry for him.

            Some corner of my mind heard the precinct doors open, but I
didn't really process it until I was staring at Reese coming down the
stairs.  Miklos was gone.  In less than a blink of an eye, before Reese
could even see him, I was standing in the parking lot alone, breathing
heavy and red as a lobster.

            The Captain gave me the next night off, thought I was sick.

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            Since I had the night off I ended up spending most of the
following day walking around downtown.  The excuse I chose to explain
this was I'd once seen a used book store somewhere down here and was
determined to find it.  But even as I searched the window fronts I knew
it was a lie.  I needed something to do though, something to keep from
thinking about him.

            Strange how "him" now always meant Miklos to me.  Every other
man in my life had a name, but somewhere along the way the bartender had
become "him."  I told myself it was because I'd gone so long without
knowing his name.  It's fine reasoning, don't you think?

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            That night I sat on the fire escape I like to call my balcony
and ate Chinese food.  I guess I'll have to admit to waiting for him,
though it was a nice night and I'm so messy with chopsticks staying away
from the carpet is always a good idea.

            When he settled down next to me I was just shoveling a large
helping of fried rice into my mouth.  I tried not to choke, but he just
sat there, watching me eat.  He didn't say anything, course neither did
I.  I moved on to my chicken.

            When I ran out of things to eat, I leaned back against the
brick of my building and just looked at him.  I hadn't a clue what to
say.

            He smiled, and took my hand in his.  I watched as he stroked
his thumb over my knuckles.

            "This probably isn't a good idea," Were the first words I
ever said directly to him.  "It can't work."

            "No," He sighed in agreement, looking so miserable it made my
chest hurt.  

I leaned forward and brushed my lips across his.  He kissed me back,
gently and slow.

Then he was gone.  I knew it was for the best, but I couldn't help wish
it weren't.


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